Name: Anduin Anduin
From: California, United States
About me: I'm a So Cal girl born and raised. I've known my husband for over 19 years and we've been married for 15. My cat is also 15 years old and his name is Yoshi. He is the ruler of the house and has me under complete submission using his super feline mind control abilities.
Anduin's World
FAVORITE SAYINGS, THINGS I LIVE BY: If you don't ask, you don't get, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
Monday, July 23, 2007
A Different Kind of Blue...
Blue October that is. Hubby took me to see them in concert this last Friday for my birthday. Although I met them before at a sound check, I never really got to see them in concert. They were awesome! I had such a great time and the band really delivered. Every song was sung with such intensity and perfection. I could tell that they've been doing this for a long time because the whole performance ran like a well oiled machine. The one thing I love about Blue October more than anything else is that their live music sounds just as good as or better even than their recorded music. There's nothing "processed" about the lead singer Justin Furstenfeld's voice. He sounds so pure and strong when he sings.
We had really good seats. Not quite the pit, which is where I would loved to have been, but very close. We were in the second row of seats and close enough to the stage to make eye contact with the band. Like looking at them from across the room maybe. We went to see them at the Pacific Amphitheater at the Orange County Fair Grounds. It's a nice venue and it was very comfortable. The one thing that really surprised me about the concert is that hardly anyone from the audience stood up when the band came out to play. They cheered enough, but only little groups of two or three were standing in the entire place. That is something that I've never seen at a concert before and it kind of upset me. I wanted to stand during the whole concert, but people were complaining to those that were standing and telling them to sit down. Huh??? Hello people, it's a ROCK concert. You're supposed to stand up and cheer the band on. This isn't the symphony. Bunch of old fuddy duddies and what someone else called OC Preppies. I'm used to standing, clapping, dancing and cheering at a rock concert. To the point of near exhaustion from all of the energy I put into it. I don't know, maybe I'm behind the times. WAY behind the times. I felt bad for the band, like they weren't getting the attention they deserved. Maybe they're used to it but I think they need that energy from the audience to know that they are doing a good job and entertaining everyone.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Feeling Melancholy
Yesterday was my dad's birthday. I haven't spoken to him in over 6 years and don't think about him much, but for some reason I'm thinking about him now. It bothers me that I should be thinking of him at all. He had his chance to be a part of my life and he threw it away. Whenever I hear about someone that's just lost their father and how much they'll miss him, I think about my father and how when he goes, I won't have those feelings. When President Reagan died, I watched the funeral procession and listened as his children spoke about him and memories they had. I cried watching that because I knew in my heart I wouldn't have anything good to say at my father's funeral. It's sad, so sad. It seemed to me that all of my childhood he resented me, maybe because I wasn't a boy. I was never daddy's little girl. I don't remember him hugging me, or holding my hand, or even hearing him tell me he loved me. I was just there to do chores and take orders.
When I was 12 my mother left him. She couldn't be with him anymore, but I couldn't go with her so I had to stay with my dad. I think he resented me for that too. It suddenly became my responsibility to take care of him, cook his food and do his laundry. He didn't treat me very well and he used to badmouth me to his friends, telling them I was lazy and stupid. He never called me by name, instead he would say "Hey dumb kid" or "Hey stupid". It's because of those things and so much more that I don't talk to him. I have too much respect for myself to allow someone to treat me like that. It's his loss. I just wish he knew what he was missing. I consider myself to be a great person, but he'll never know that. I'm not stupid dad and I'm not a dummy either. I'm a very bright, intelligent person. Obviously I got that from mom.
7/16 - Now that I've had a day to think about this post, I realize why I'm so sad. It's because I wish I had a dad, or more like a daddy. Someone that I could call and talk to whenever I needed him. Someone that I could put my arms around and tell him how much I love him. I miss having my daddy. He robbed me of that and it makes me very angry and sad that I don't have him in my life. It's just wrong.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
School Sucks
I've always known that it does and I've always disliked going. So far nothing has changed. I am learning though, so that's good. I just really, really hate homework. Blech! My English instructor must have been going easy on us the first two weeks because we only had one assignment to work on over the weekend. This last week though, she must have felt like she needed to make up for lost time and assigned three writing assignments that are all due on Tuesday. I've been sitting at this computer ALL DAY trying to write this one essay. I'm spent now and I'm only half done. I sincerely want to learn how to do this, but my dark side whispers things in my ear that make we want to do less than a good job on this task. Oh, and the distractions. My cat for one. He likes to jump up on my desk while I'm writing and lay right in front of me so I can't type. He'll then go lay on all of my papers and swat at my hands while I'm typing. He's also kind of restless, so he'll get up and walk around my monitor a couple of times and stick his butt in my face. Right now he's passed out on my folder, nudged up against my keyboard. Why don't I just shove him off the desk you might wonder? Well, I guess it's because I don't want to do my homework and this is a great way of getting out of it. Imagine me giving that as an excuse to my instructor for not finishing my assignment; my cat wouldn't let me.